Excerpt from BOXES

BOXES is scheduled to be produced in Trinidad in the Spring of 2010
BOXES is a multi-storied play that represents a collection of every day situations, but in jarring and unexpected ways. Through compelling character interaction, the play lifts the veil of comfort and security and places us face to face with the destructive inner voices that prevent us from achieving our true identities.
The goal of BOXES is to shed light on the damaging effect of self-sabotage and negative internal dialogue, and to provide and opportunity for self-reflection and redemption.
SCENE TWO
Spotlight up on one box. MOTHER and PRINCESS enter. PRINCESS is in a plain white dress. MOTHER is fussing over PRINCESS’S appearance.
MOTHER
You look fine dear.
PRINCESS
I do not. I look fat.
MOTHER
You’re not fat.
PRINCESS
I know that. It’s this cheap material. No one could look good in this dress. Why are you always so cheap? You won’t buy me anything unless it’s from the Goodwill or on sale.
MOTHER
That’s not true dear. Please, lower your voice now. You don’t want these nice gentlemen to think you’re spoiled do you?
(MOTHER helps PRINCESS up onto the box and then helps her turn slowly in a circle – modeling herself. MOTHER continues primping PRINCESS.)
PRINCESS
I am not spoiled Mother. If I was spoiled I’d shop at Saks – not Macy’s. And I’d get my hair done at a real salon instead of in your sister’s basement.
MOTHER
Slower please. Turn slowly now please dear. Lower your shoulders. That’s it.
PRINCESS
If I was spoiled I would have traveled through Europe with my friends during the summer instead of working like a slave.
MOTHER
Well, Brown University is expensive dear. Your father and I couldn’t pay your tuition, your car note, and give you spending money. We needed you to pitch in. Besides, internships are good experience. They could have helped you get a good job after college.
PRINCESS
Get a job, get a job. That’s all you ever talk about. Its not even like Brown is a real Ivy League school anyway. If you would have paid for Harvard I wouldn’t need a job. I could have just married a rich classmate – or professor.
VOICE
(Chattering is heard as men enter)
MOTHER
Well, sweetheart, we do the best we can with what we’ve got. Smile dear. And this is the best idea I could come up with.
(MOTHER lifts veil from behind the box and places it on PRINCESS’ head. MOTHER faces audience. Full lights up.)
MOTHER
Gentlemen, Shall we start the bidding?
(VOICES OF MEN)
VOICE
How old is she?
MOTHER
30 next fall
VOICE
Any kids?
MOTHER
Obviously not.
VOICE
I’ll marry her. But she’s got to work too. And no more than 2 kids.
MOTHER
Gentlemen, I believe I was clear. PRINCESS is not built for working. She is educated and well mannered. She looks great at cocktail parties. She is however perfect for charity work and volunteering. The perfect mate for a man determined to rise the corporate ladder.
VOICE
Well, I’ll marry her. I won’t make her work. But I won’t be faithful and I don’t want kids.
MOTHER
Now there’s a serious offer! Come on gentlemen take a closer look. This young lady was raised in a multi-ethnic non-sectarian church, educated in excellent schools and exposed to corporate culture as well as the fine arts. She knows what it takes to help you succeed!
VOICE
Yeah, but will she be any actual help?
VOICE
What can she do? Can she cook?
VOICE
All she gotta do is blow me.
MOTHER
Who said that?
VOICE
She needs to be able to do more than spend my money.
VOICE
I need a wife, not more bills.
MOTHER
She speaks French!
VOICE
It’s bad enough getting nagged in one language – I don’t need two.
VOICES (Laughter)
MOTHER
Oh, is your personal life so exciting you couldn’t use some company?
VOICE
If she’s such great company why are you getting rid of her?
MOTHER
I know you work all the time. I know you work hard. You’re good men. Ask yourselves – what do you want?
VOICE
A clean house, a good meal, and peace in my home.
VOICE
I’m betting your PRINCESS there can’t provide any of that.
MOTHER
What do you deserve to come home to? An empty house? A TV dinner? The late night news? No, not you, you’re smarter than that. I know you are. Turn again dear, slowly now, smile. You deserve a PRINCESS. Someone to serve you a home cooked meal and help you relax in a way a hot shower just can’t compare to. Now gentlemen, what do I hear?
VOICE
If I don’t get married soon I’ll never get beyond middle management. It’s a family focused company.
PRINCESS
Mom
MOTHER
Hush dear, we’ve got them now.
VOICE
I’m a widow. But I’m rich and I’d like more children.
PRINCESS
Mommy, he’s so old.
MOTHER
Would you shut your mouth? I am trying to get you married!
PRINCESS
You’re selling me to strangers! I don’t know them, what if I can’t love him?
(MOTHER and VOICES laughing)
MOTHER
Love. What in the world are you talking about?
PRINCESS
Love. I want a marriage built on love and respect and trust…
VOICE
How about a knight on a white horse!
MOTHER
Please be quiet before these men think I’ve raised an idiot. Look, Princess, you’ve been skipping around my house since you were 16 singing about love. Now you’re 30, single and unemployed. If I were to take advice from you, love would be 6 feet, 3 inches tall with a smooth complexion and a fast car. Love would mean frequent dinners in overpriced restaurants and champagne bottles in the club.
PRINCESS
You raised me to appreciate nice things. I like nice things.
MOTHER
Do you really think that you can determine a man’s intentions by how long he talks to you on a cell phone?
PRINCESS
Mother I am not a child! I know what love is.
MOTHER
No, you don’t. Princess, love is a light bill and a mortgage paid on time, every month, for decades. It’s stamina and patience. It’s what your father and I tried to give to you. But for some reason you can’t recognize that. You still don’t get it. Its like you’re living on some higher altitude, you look right past and over the realities of life. And I’ve accepted that. Because I love you, because you’re my child. But I won’t let you ruin and waste yourself. And I won’t let you live in my house forever either. I’m doing this for your own good.
PRINCESS
But I don’t know these men. You can’t just give me away.
MOTHER
I’m not giving you away. I’m trying to make sure you don’t sell yourself short. I don’t want to see you end up with some loser just because he was cute and good in bed. I’m taking care of you. I’m making sure you’ll marry a man who can continue to take care of you after I’m gone.
VOICE
Put the girl on the block. I didn’t get a good look at her.
VOICE
Come on, let’s get on with it.
VOICE
I came here to buy a wife.
VOICE
You came here for a maid.
VOICE
Someone to warm your bed and wash your clothes.
VOICE
Right. That’s what I said, a wife.
(VOICE’S Laughter)
MOTHER
Enough! Princess is understandably nervous. Allow me a few minutes to explain things and we’ll get right back to business.
VOICE
Don’t take too long
VOICE
Set her straight
VOICE
She’s not the only one on the market you know.
PRINCESS
This is wrong, this is disgusting, you’re auctioning me off and you don’t have to. I can find my own husband. I can choose him myself. I want to find someone that I have a connection with.
MOTHER
I’d love to believe you could. But Princess, you don’t have the wisdom to make that decision. And it’s my fault I guess. I just raised you wrong. I told you to follow your heart, go after your dreams, live life abundantly. I didn’t tell you the truth.
PRINCESS
About what?
MOTHER
About life Princess. I should have told you that most people aren’t living the lives they planned – they’re just paying bills, raising kids, and hoping they’ll get to sleep in on the weekend. Most people aren’t married to their soul mate. Most people had their hearts broken by their sole mate in high school – they just got tired of being lonely. And that’s OK. You have to do something to pass the time. I want you to pass the time in a nice house sitting on furniture you own.
VOICE
Is the spoiled little Princess ready yet?
VOICE
Women. It’s always something.
PRINCESS
I don’t believe you. Life can’t be that depressing. Can it?
MOTHER
Let’s just continue dear.
VOICE
Yes, let’s get back to the auction
VOICES
(Chatter)
PRINCESS
Is that how it is with you and Dad? Are you saying that Dad isn’t your soul mate?
MOTHER
He was the right choice. And we made it work. That’s all that matters.
PRINCESS
Why isn’t he here then? If this is the right way for me to find a husband,if he thinks this is the only way, shouldn’t he be here too? Doesn’t he want to make sure we choose the right one?
MOTHER
None of these men will ever be good enough for you in his eyes dear. You’re his Princess.
PRINCESS
But he wants me to get married right? He wants grandchildren and all.
MOTHER
Yes he does. He just wouldn’t understand.
PRINCESS
Wouldn’t understand what? Let’s go get him mom. I want him to be here. I need him to help me find someone who will be for me what he’s been for you. And, and I’m scared mommy. I don’t want to do this and I need to hear him say that I don’t have to be afraid, that everything is going to be OK. Let’s go get him.
VOICE
Uh oh.
VOICE
Another one with Daddy issues
PRINCESS tries to dismount the box
VOICE
Nope, I can’t handle this one. I’ve dealt with situations like these before.
VOICE
I’m out too.
Commotion as men exit
MOTHER
Get back up on that box.
PRINCESS
What?
MOTHER
Get back up on that box or I will kick you out of our home and I will leave you here to fend for yourself. I mean it. Look what you’ve done. Men are starting to leave.
PRINCESS
I don’t understand. Why are you so angry?
MOTHER
He is my husband. He is my husband and ever since you were born you have been all he cares about. You were the Princess and you needed dance lessons and you wanted to go to an Ivy league school. Everything for you. Anything for you. You didn’t marry him – I did. You didn’t clean and cook for him – I did. It’s my turn now baby girl. You have had your time in the sun and now you need to find your own man. And we are going to find him – today. And you and your father will just have to live with it.
PRINCESS
He doesn’t even know we’re here does he? This was all your idea.
MOTHER
We’re going to surprise him. He’ll like it. Trust me.
PRINCESS
But I don’t want this. I like my life. Why are you doing this?
MOTHER
Of course you like your life. A life where your parents still take care of everything for you.
VOICE
She still living at home?
VOICE
She’s 30 years old and she can’t support herself?
VOICE
Obviously not, she doesn’t have a job.
MOTHER
You see? You’re not really a Princess after all. These men see you as a liability, a chore. They are not your father. I am trying to help you get a good one while you still can.
VOICE
How old is she again?
MOTHER
If you want to be single forever and start collecting pets to fill the void of a childless life you keep on whining. But I am trying to help you. And you would be smart to help yourself.
VOICE
No job and no prospects of a job I bet.
PRINCESS
I am taking a break to evaluate doctoral programs. I’m going to be the first PhD in my family.
VOICE
How long have you been on this break?
PRINCESS
Two years
VOICES
(Laughter)
MOTHER
Stop talking dear.
VOICE
This is a joke.
VOICE
I came here to find a wife. A partner. Not a dependent.
VOICE
This is a waste of time
Men begin to exit
MOTHER
Wait! Don’t go! Just let me explain. My husband and I did the best we could – at least we thought we were. We wanted her to have every opportunity, every privilege; we put her needs above our own every day since her birth. This is our creation and she is absolutely lovely – isn’t she?
PRINCESS turns on the box
VOICE
Very nice
MOTHER
This is our Princess. We’re just trying to find her a good home.
VOICE
Yeah, because you want her out of yours.
MOTHER
Gentlemen please! You’re focusing on the wrong things. Think of your future. When you’re a managing director or a CEO. Do you want a workhorse that’s too tired to attend corporate functions? Do you want some stressed out, overweight, loudmouth on your arm? Some thick-thighed breeder who brings casserole dishes filled with mac-n-cheese
VOICE
Hey, I like mac – n – cheese.
MOTHER
and hamburger helper, or discount Tupperware reeking of deviled eggs to the boss’s Christmas party?
VOICE
I can’t have that on my arm. I need a woman who knows how to conduct herself in any situation.
VOICE
Someone who won’t embarrass me in front of my coworkers.
MOTHER
Exactly. I know. I know you are fine gentlemen. You want a Princess. You need a delicate flower. Someone who can put the other wives at ease and make your co-workers jealous. You know I’m right. This is your Princess. This is your guarantee to corporate success. And this is for sale today.
VOICE
How much does she cost?
VOICE
Yeah, exactly what are you asking for?
MOTHER
What you should be asking yourselves is what do you have that makes you worthy of her. How many of you went to Ivy League schools? If you’ve got a record, or kids, you better have a house in the Hampton’s too – or at least South Florida. What I am asking – what we are demanding is a man who can guarantee he will provide my daughter with the lifestyle she deserves.
VOICE
Sounds expensive.
MOTHER
She is. But who here can afford not to have a Princess on their arm?
VOICE
Look, I’ll be honest. I’m gay. But I need to keep up appearances. I’ll take her off your hands.
MOTHER
Are there any real offers?
VOICE
A house in the south if she’ll fill it with kids. She won’t have to work but I’m not hiring a maid.
MOTHER
No
VOICE
A home in the suburbs, one child, and I’ll pay for a cleaning service.
MOTHER
Do I have another offer?
VOICE
I’m an investment banker and I’m never home. I just need her to make it to all the company parties and hold a good conversation.
MOTHER
Going once
VOICE
A condo in New York but she’ll have to join the Junior League and learn to play tennis.
MOTHER
Sold!
(Lights Out)
Very Nice
Comment by Tiphaniw — December 26, 2009 @ 9:42 pm
I can’t wait to read/see what comes after this…
Comment by Sheillah — December 27, 2009 @ 10:23 am
thanks! nice blog. i add roseprose.com to my google reader
Comment by PseusyPag — February 4, 2010 @ 8:32 pm